A Lawyer Presents the Case for the Afterlife


In the beginning God covered the earth with broccoli, cauliflower and spinach, with green,yellow and red vegetables of all kinds so Man and Woman would live long and healthy lives.

Then, using God's bountiful gifts, Satan created Dairy Ice Cream. And Satan said "You want fudge with that ?" And Man said "Yes !" And Woman said "I'll have one too with chocolate chips", And lo they gained 10 pounds.

And God created the healthy joghurt that Woman might keep the figure that Man found so fair. And Satan brought forth white flour from the wheat and sugar from the cane and combined them. And Woman went from size 12 to size 14.

So God said "Try my fresh green salad". And Satan presented them with Blue Cheese dressing and garlic croutons on the side. And Man and Woman unfastened their belts and followed this repast.

God then said "I have sent you healthy and olive oil in which to to cook them". And Satan brought forth deep fried coconut king prawns, butter-dipped lobster chunks and chicken fried steak, so big that it needed its own platter. And Man's cholesteral went through the roof.

Then God brought forth the potato, naturally low in fat and brimming with potassium and good nutrition. Then Satan peeled off the healthy skin and sliced the starchy centre into chips and deep fried them in animal fats adding copious quantities of salt. And Man put on more pounds.

God then brought forth running shoes so that his Children might lose those extra pounds . And Satan came forth with a cable TV with remote control so Man would not have to toil changing channels. And Man and Woman laughed and cried before the flickering light and started to wear stretch jogging suits.

Then God gave lean beef so that Man might consume fewer calories and still satisfy his appetite. And Satan created McDonalds and the 99p double Cheeseburger. And Satan said "You want fries with that ?"
and Man replied "Yes and supersize 'em". And Satan said "It is good" And Man and Woman went into
cardiac arrrest.

God sighed and created quadruple by-pass surgery. And then Satan chuckled and created the National Health Service.


After an exhaustive review of the research literature. here's the final word on nutrition and health.

1. Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.

2. Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.

3. Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.

4. Italians and French drink excessive amounts of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.

5. Germans drink beer and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.

Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you !

Copyright 2011 Victor Zammit All rights reserved.