From the book "Russell" by Gwen Byrne-

Russell is speaking through medium Deborah Moore

Hello Mum. It's me. It's Russell. (Laughter here). I'm here with the story I have long wished to tell my mother. It has been a long time coming because I had to tell it through the right person. Debs is that person. It isn't a harrowing story, Mum. It's a story of TRIUMPH. It is the story of when I went through the 'Death Experience'. But while it is for my mother to know, it is also a 'story' for the other mothers who have lost children - children who have passed through accidents, illnesses, even catapulted into spirit - whatever their passing. For all that happened to me is similar to that which happens to all children who go through the 'Death Experience'.

It is not horrific. It is not negative. It is not nasty. It is magical, mysterious and wondrous. It is the Truth, Debs, and that is worth knowing.

Mum, this is the tape that has been promised to you. I'm sorry it has been so long in coming but I hope it will help and will have been worth the wait.

I knew from the very beginning that I didn't have long upon the Earth plane. As a child I had the knowledge that I would not be with you and Dad upon the Earth very long. You ask how I knew. Well, I don't really know how I knew - it was just knowledge deep inside me. I knew it as surely as I saw the sun in the sky and the moon at night, surrounded by the stars. I just knew it.

I now know that you also knew it Mum. From the very beginning you knew I didn't have long.
John, Deborah's guide, has explained to an extent why you knew - how you knew. That knowledge is still very hard to bear, but you did bear it. The strain of that knowledge alone was extremely hard for you. You see you had to live your daily life with us as boys and you also had this awful knowledge.

Because it was awful then, because you understood none of the divine laws of life to put the knowledge into context. And even if you had, would you have been able to accept it? I think not. Or it would have been very hard.
I know that during the years that you raised us - my brothers and me - upon the Earth plane, you must have felt a bit like a 'single parent', for Dad was away a great deal. If he wasn't away, he was preoccupied with his business. He gave great thought and strength and understanding to his work, and he had to an extent to provide for us, but at the same time perhaps he sought refuge in the world he understood whereas at times he was bewildered in the world of our lives. For I think he felt sometimes a little out of his depth perhaps, in the demands of the life that children place on individuals.

I know that you had a very long, lonely time of bringing us up, the three of us, three boys I mean. I think anyone can understand how difficult that can be for one lovely lady. But you did it, Mum. Not only did you do it, you did it very well. But I know now - I didn't know then - because as children, we don't - but as adults we realize that our mothers are not just our mums, they are people too in their own right. I know now that you made great sacrifices for us in your life. You didn't do a lot of things that you perhaps could have done, or wanted to do, because we came first - we were the commitment - your children, your husband, your home, and I know that probably there is still within you that question mark as to what it would have been like if you had followed your singing career then.

Well truly, Mum, I say to you that the singing you have yet to do will be greater than any you could ever have done before because it will come from a much deeper level. The lyric of the song will be expressed through the great traumas that you yourself have been through. And it will reach out to touch the souls of an those who have been through similar traumas and those who haven't even been through any traumas will be moved by that music and your song. It is very hard for us to imagine it is so, but truly I say, Mum, it is. And in the years which are to come you'll understand. It will be easier to understand.

The memories of my passing are quite vivid to me. The last days of my passing, the last days of my life on the Earth. My illness came upon us suddenly as if we were unprepared, and yet basically, I had always been prepared. Towards the end of my illness, it was the tiredness which defeated me most. The awful, unbearable tiredness, and that you know is what I remember most about my last days upon the Earth. The endless tiredness, and the grief and helplessness of you and my father, but most of all you. The bewilderment and the trauma that happened to my brothers. I can remember looking at you all and wanting to tell you it was all right. I knew, I understood it was going to be all right. But my tiredness overcame me so many times. It's hard, but that's the way it was.

During my last days upon the Earth I saw the lights of spirit you know. I saw them many times upon the walls. I saw figures, beautiful figures. I saw figures clothed in white and great shining light that told me my time was not long, but not to be worried because they would be with me. There would be no terror, no horror, nothing nasty and no darkness. It would be all right - they would be there. I know that it has always hurt you that you were not there beside me when I left my Earth life. Please Mum, I wish you would now stop blaming yourself for that. For you do blame yourself. Please don't.

There is no need. I never died alone you know. None of us dies alone. We have the people in spirit, from spirit, come to take us across the divide between two worlds, and this, and how you cross it, is very much what I would like to talk to you about now.

I can remember the light of the Earth growing dim to my eyes. I can remember this awful, awful tiredness. It was the tiredness which I suppose really got me in the end. The endless tiredness. You know before I was always very lively, very very lively, I was climbing trees and always falling out of them and you used to get quite alarmed about it. I was always very inquisitive and into everything. The reason Mum was because I didn't have long. I had a lot to find out. That's the reason. But towards the end the tiredness became so great that I could hardly move one foot in front of the other. Well you know that, and towards the very end I couldn't walk, I could hardly move. Sometimes the treatment - in many ways the effects of it - was sometimes worse than the illness, and I know that you blamed yourself for that as well. You wondered whether it was right to subject me to the treatment when you knew, deep down inside, that there was no cure for that which I had. That I was going to die.

Well Mum, all I can say is that you did what you had to do. You did what you felt was right and it was very right that you should have done it. So please don't blame yourself for that, there is no need. You take guilt upon your shoulders when there is no need for guilt. You did what any mother upon the Earth plane would have done. You did what you could to prevent what you knew as inevitable. But any Earth mother would have done it - it is a fact. Ask Debs if you don't believe me. She's a mother. If she'd had a choice of trying to save Catherine, she would have tried anything to have done it. She would have even traded her own life for Catherine's, but she wasn't given that choice. I know that you would have traded your own life for mine if you had thought it would have made a difference. But of course it wouldn't have done because it was not your time to go, it was mine.

As my body withered in front of your eyes, my soul became stronger and made ready for the journey that it was to go on. You know, there is one person who stands out in my mind because it is one person who took me between the two worlds of Earth and Spirit, and at the very end of my life upon Earth I awoke and there was darkness all around me.

But there in front of me stood the most beautiful, beautiful lady and she was very beautiful, Mum. She was dressed in a long blue robe and upon her head she had a long white ... not a cloak but like a sheet. Very much like the robes the Jewish ladies used to wear about two thousand years ago. Her name was Maria and when she spoke, she spoke in such a lovely voice Mum, it was as if in her voice I could hear the sound of waterfalls and tinkling bells. Truly, that was her voice. It was so magical and so lovely and around her there shone a great light and she had a most beautiful smile upon her face and she came forward to me and she said, 'Come on Russell'' and she held her arms out to me - her arms outstretched - and said, 'Come Russell, come with me. It is time for you to go. It is time for you to come with me, to leave this Earth and come back to your true home.' I asked about you and about Dad and I said, 'I would like to say goodbye to Mum or Dad,' and she said, 'That is not necessary, not now.

For you will not lose them and they will not lose you, and we will bring you back many times to see them so you will not have lost them.' And she said, 'Come, Russell, come. Come now.' I said, 'But I cannot move. I am so tired.' She said 'Move, move Russell, try to move,' and of course I tried to sit up and Mum, I could sit up! I could! I could sit up, I could swing my legs off the side of the bed and could wriggle down on to the floor and I could walk towards this beautiful, beautiful lady.

I looked round and I looked behind me and there was ME. I was lying on that bed and yet I was standing here just the same as I was on the bed - like a mirror reflection really - beside this beautiful, beautiful lady, and I looked at me that was and I looked at the beautiful lady and I looked at me that is now and I just didn't understand. She smiled because she could read my thoughts you see, we didn't need language any more for in spirit, as you think it so the person you think the thought to, hears it - picks it up - like a kind of telepathy on the Earth. That's the way we communicate. We have no need of language. So we think - so we know against mind to mind. I looked at her and she knew and understood my perplexity. She smiled and laughed and she gathered me up into her arms. I felt so happy - so free - because I wasn't tired any more. There wasn't any pain. There was none of that awful, awful tiredness. I was as light and free as the wind and it was wonderful.

She then said to me as she held me in her arms, 'Now Russell, we're going on a journey.' I said, 'But I'm very big. Are you sure that you can carry me on the journey?' 'Oh yes,' she said. 'I can carry you.' You see, I was quite big, wasn't I Mum, for my age and she was only a ... she was a lady, but not a particularly tall lady. In fact there seemed to be something very gossamer about her to me' and yet that lady picked me up in her arms as if I were a feather. Of course I know now that I was, because the power of her love picked me up.

The power of her love held me close to her in her arms and Mum, we went on the most extraordinary journey I have ever known. Or had ever known up till then. For you see, this beautiful lady walked through the wall - through the wall and through all the solid objects and I went all through the solid objects with her. We walked through the walls - we just walked! Slowly, as we walked, I noticed that she was making me laugh and she was making me feel happy and free and full of life. More full of life and happier than I'd ever been for years upon the Earth because I was free of the great burden of this knowledge that I was not long to stay.

Do you know, she lifted me up and we walked and at first we seemed to walk upon the Earth, but as we walked I noticed that we were leaving the Earth. We were literally leaving the surface of the Earth, so she was walking on air and we were just walking! She was walking through space! She told me ... and I said, 'Where - where are we going? How can you walk through the air? I couldn't walk through the air!' I was, of course - at nine and three-quarters - very impressed with anyone who could walk in the air - you could imagine! I thought it was a wonderful trick and I told her so. She laughed - a beautiful, beautiful laugh. It sounded like a tinkling bell.

We walked and she said, 'I am walking on a path that no human eye can see, and soon we will be up among the stars and we will walk along the path where there is no path.' And do you know, this happened! We left the Earth plane far behind - we left the Earth far behind. We went up into the darkness of the night beyond the sun. We walked through the stars, and she saw a path - I saw no path, but she saw a path - and I said, 'Does everyone do this? "Oh yes,' she said, 'we all walk the path.'

Then I saw the light - a very small light - in the distance, and we walked towards the light and as we walked, the light ... the hole ... the light got bigger and I saw that it was like a tunnel. It was like a pathway through a tunnel and we had to walk through this tunnel, and at the very end of this tunnel there was a tremendous light and she walked on, and walked on and walked on, and others joined us as we walked. But I was so busy looking around, so busy staring at this lovely, lovely lady. I didn't really know who it was, but I recognized her, yet I didn't recognize her, and there seemed to be great joy. It was as if I'd come home, and of course I had. We were walking... she was walking ... she was carrying me in her arms and we went straight towards the light and we passed through that light - I suppose it was out the other side of the tunnel - and into this light, and into this light, Mum.

My eyes were dazzled at first, but as they grew adjusted to this great light I could see things. I could see people. I could see other children. I could see other people that were beloved of mine on the Earth plane, waving, smiling, greeting. I found myself, Mum, in this most wonderful, wonderful garden and I can only ... well it was like a garden, it was like a cross between a garden and a parkland like you'd find. That's the nearest I can describe it upon the Earth. You know, it was a garden that was vast. It was like a cross between a vast garden and a vast park. It was so light, it was like a glorious summer's day, but it wasn't too hot and it wasn't too cold. It was just perfect and there was such love in this place - such love - and the love helped me. I felt stronger - I was getting stronger in this lady's arms, with all this love around me. I was getting stronger, stronger all the time and I struggled in her arms and said, 'Oh please let me go. Let me play over there. Let me explore all this wonderful place. Let me see where everything is.'

'No, no,' she said, 'Russell no. You must wait. You have been ill upon the Earth. We must take you to a place that will heal you.' Mum, this frightened me because the last thing I wanted to do was to go into another hospital. I'd had enough of those places and I struggled in her arms and said, 'Not a hospital,' and she said, 'No, it is not a hospital like anything you will find upon the Earth,' and it wasn't.

She walked through this beautiful place - this beautiful garden - and she took me to a beautiful white pillared building. She was greeted by people who lived in this white pillared building that looked after the children of the Earth, that put them on the road to recovery after they had been ill. You see, if you'd been ill ... if a child has been ill upon the Earth plane, they are taken to the Halls of Healing where people who love children work with them and heal them from whatever physical or mental traumas they have suffered upon the Earth, and of course I had been through a lot of physical trauma hadn't I. Because of my illness. But it was nothing like the Earth. It was nothing like the Earth.

She took me into this beautiful white building - this lovely ... this other lovely lady came and greeted her and I fancied she bowed in front of this lady in the blue robe. It was a quick, instant thing, and yet I saw it in just a flicker - a fraction - and then everything was normal and the lovely lady with the blue robe put me on this ... on this lovely little bed and it was a really lovely little bed. Exactly the right size for me - it wasn't too big, it wasn't too small. The mattress wasn't too hard and it wasn't too soft. Everything was just right, and the mattress seemed to settle me down in it somehow. I didn't actually sink in it but it just seemed to settle round me, and do you know, it almost felt as if that mattress itself was giving off a healing glow and I now know of course that that is possible. This is just what happens and I understand now why but to me at the time, it was such a great source of wonder. And the beautiful lady who had carried me thus far, laid me down on the bed and very gently put her hand over my forehead and I knew no more.

And then I woke up again and I was still in this beautiful place and I was still in this bed and I felt as though I had only been asleep for a moment, but I had been asleep for a long while and I felt very, very much better. I felt strong again, like my old self, and I got up and the lady who looked after me ... she was sort of a round lady with sort of grey-white hair, and she had a cap - an old fashioned nurse's cap - and a lovely deep white collar around her. A long, bustly dress. It was lovely - and she was lovely - and she looked at me and she smiled and she had wonderful red, rosy cheeks like two red apples either side. It was lovely. She said, 'You feel better now, Russell,' and I said 'Oh yes, I feel tons better. I think I'll go back and tell Mum.' Mum will be pleased, I thought, that I was so much better. So would Dad. So would my brothers.


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